


Saudade and the Stars

by MyMephyloaf



Series: The White Cottage [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Ineffable Bureaucracy, Mentions of Crowley (Good Omens), Mentions of Pre-Fall (Good Omens), Ooc? Maybe?, Other, The prose may still be a bit purple, There’s actually dialogue in this one, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), a touch of angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21573682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyMephyloaf/pseuds/MyMephyloaf
Summary: Late night, the mind tends to wander over the past. Gabriel wakes to find an empty bed... and a demon who misses something that cannot be regained.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: The White Cottage [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550179
Comments: 10
Kudos: 63





	Saudade and the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Saudade - A deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return.

Supernatural beings, whether Ethereal or Occult, had no real need to keep a clock on the nightstand. Nevertheless, there it sat, reading 2:40 in large green font.

The world outside was as dark as demon’s wings. The streetlight up the road provided very little light over the sidewalk, especially when compared to the moon and stars above. The perfect celestial nightlights reflected silvery white light over creation below.

It was a peaceful night, at least, though Gabriel still found himself waking up despite it. He lay there in bed just for a few more minutes, hoping that sleep would come to take him back. 

He’d never been skilled at sleeping, though, so awake he remained. 

His violet eyes opened and began to look around the room. Nearby, a much larger than your average house fly slept soundly in a little dog bed, wings occasionally twitching and buzzing as he slept. The window above the fly was cracked open with moonlight and cool autumn breezes filtering in through a thin white curtain. Such a tranquil scene should have been enough to put him right back out. 

Gabriel slowly rolled into his other side, his wings shifting behind him into a more comfortable position. He frowned immediately upon discovering the other side of the bed, usually occupied by one Prince of Hell, was completely vacant. The duvet was pulled up and cast aside, white sheets illuminating like new fallen snow. He propped himself up a little as he looked around the room to find where Beelzebub had gone.

He didn’t have to look far. Just beyond the bed, Beelzebub sat in the little bench just beneath the window. It was fully open, the curtains billowing into the room as they gazed out at the world. Black wings were tucked up neatly behind their back. The moon’s silvery light cast a glow upon Beelzebub’s skin, and Gabriel could have sworn he was seeing the angel they once were. 

He scoot over their side of bed and slid out. He took the couple of steps to reach them, their gaze uninterrupted by his presence. Still, he bent down and pressed a kiss to their cheek.

"Bee?” he asked, his voice nearly a raspy whisper, “Everything ok?” 

Beelzebub gave some sort of noncommittal hum. Gabriel tilted his head to better see what it was they were looking at.

The little cottage had some trees on both sides between itself and its neighbors. Gabriel had insisted on the privacy and Beelzebub certainly wasn’t opposed. With the second story window, there was a little space just beyond where the last tree ended and the rest of the world began. Trees in the distance seemed grey. Stars speckled the sky, some too dim to compete with the moonlight and city glow just beyond. Long, dark shadows stretched out over their yard. It was a lovely sight. 

Crowley really had done a lovely job when he hung the stars. Gabriel had helped, as did the other Archangels and even a few lower angels, but he could never get his to look as nice as Crowley’s had. Still there, after his Fall, they remained. 

“It’s nice to look at sometimes,” Beelzebub muttered. 

“Mm? What is?” 

“The moon. The stars and all that... stuff...” 

Beelzebub’s wings shifted slightly behind them. Gabriel noticed with a raised eyebrow. He nodded once. 

“It is...” 

Silence fell over the two, though Gabriel could tell something was bothering Beelzebub. He didn’t want to push their buttons, he really didn’t at this hour. He had to proceed with care.

Luckily, Beelzebub seemed to want to talk without needing to be asked.

“Do you remember making them?” they asked, “When we... stood in the blackness of it all and made all that... from nothing.”

Gabriel hummed in agreement. He still watched their face, though they refused to look at him. They hated when he said it, but they did look lovely.

“Sometimes... I wake up... and I’d come here to Earth and... stand in the darkness of everything... hold my hands up to the sky... and pretend I was still able to do it...” 

Beelzebub lifted a hand as they spoke, fingers splayed out over the darkness and the stars. Their fingers moved ever so slightly, like a pianist playing a slow, soft melody. Gabriel watched their hand, then looked at their face. They had a wistful look in their eye, a sadness tinged attempt at a little smirk. 

To have had the ability to spin the stars at your fingertips, then to lose it in one fell blow must be something one would never really recover from. 

“I know a place we could go,” Gabriel’s voice was even quieter, as though Heaven and Hell were listening at their door, “It’s somewhere I’d land when I’d go on my flights over the oceans. An island, untouched by humanity. There’s no light pollution, nothing. You can see every star there...” 

Gabriel felt his cheeks tinging pink, though Beelzebub wouldn’t notice. He very gently touched his palm to the back of Beelzebub’s hand and laced his fingers between theirs.

“We could fly there sometime. Lie in the grass and create the universe again. Together.” 

Beelzebub’s eyes finally met Gabriel’s. There was a curiosity there, the way their eyebrows raised at Gabriel’s proposal. Their hand relaxed, not quite closing around his. 

“Really...?” 

There was that little hint of snark that Gabriel had come to love in Beelzebub’s tone, but there was also hope. 

“Of course,” he smiled, “We can talk about how we would have made the universe and compare notes.” 

Beelzebub gave a little laugh. It set Gabriel’s heart alight. He smiled more at them with a little shrug. 

“I’m serious. Whatever you’d like to do.” 

The wind rustled their hair as they looked back out over the Earth again. Their hand closed around Gabriel’s more securely, lowered to rest on the windowsill. They shook their head with a small huff of a laugh.

“Our own Eden,” they murmured.

Gabriel tilted his head. “Mm... you could call it that.” 

“Once we’re all caught up on paperwork and settling out the details of this... arrangement we have... I think I’d like that.” 

Gabriel couldn’t help but smile even more. Beelzebub rolled their eyes and gently shoved his shoulder. He chuckled.

“Alright. Sounds like a date!”

Beelzebub shot him a sort of glare, one Gabriel was sure would have had some more bite in it had it not been very late at night. They didn’t keep it up long before pushing themselves up and away from the window with a sigh. 

“Sure, whatever makes you happy,” they grumbled, “Now get back in bed.” 

Gabriel took a single step toward their shared bed before very gently tugging their hand. 

“Join me? Please?”

Beelzebub didn’t seem amused by it. Gabriel coaxed them a little more with smaller little tugs.

“Come on, Bee. Sooner we sleep, sooner we are rested and ready to tackle paperwork, and the sooner we can go to our Eden.” 

Beelzebub really didn’t need much convincing. Not at this hour. They gave a little buzz of something that might have been a curse had they been more awake. They allowed themselves to be pulled back into bed. Gabriel held them to his chest, his wings unfolding around them as they cuddled up to him. Beelzebub was quite a lovebug when they wanted to be.

“Goodnight, Honeybee.”

“Night, dove.”

Gabriel pressed a kiss to their forehead that earned him a small jab in the ribs. It was a small price to pay. He curled his wings around the demon in his arms, who was already fast asleep. He followed soon after, his forehead to theirs. 

The night marched on, of course, as the Earth rotated in the dark void of space. Soon, the darkness would vanish, and give way to the sun. Brilliant light would flood out all visible stars except for one. Even the moon would fight to be seen. 

Not in dreams, though, where one Archangel and one Prince of Hell remained in darkness, spinning up new stars together in a universe all their own. 

**Author's Note:**

> I just couldn’t fathom what feeling I’d be left with if I could go from creating stars and nebulae to suddenly... not being able to do that anymore. Never being able to do it again. That would suck out loud. Had to fluff it up a bit to fix that.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
